apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
