it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
