I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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