This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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