Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
