do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
