it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
