he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
