the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
