I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
