yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
