So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
