Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
