Pants 0. Shit 1.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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