I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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