I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I need to calm my uterus...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
