I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
