I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
