This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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