We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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