I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
