is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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