if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
