Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
