I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
