So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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