maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're a waste of cheezeits
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.