I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS