Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1273) Bad night (7150)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.

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  (403): My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator. http://tfl.nu/0m79
  Replies (12) Good night (1061) Bad night (3947)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min

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  (225): Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min http://tfl.nu/fx8x
  Replies (21) Good night (4355) Bad night (565)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs

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  (404): dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs http://tfl.nu/cgkd
  Replies (58) Good night (994) Bad night (12179)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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  (770): i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles. http://tfl.nu/d3lp
  Replies (7) Good night (2895) Bad night (1205)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.

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  (585): Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did. http://tfl.nu/1e6o
  Replies (27) Good night (666) Bad night (12927)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.

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  (505): And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off. http://tfl.nu/pihu
  Replies (16) Good night (7782) Bad night (1010)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.

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  (304): Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling. http://tfl.nu/ly52
  Replies (26) Good night (5565) Bad night (572)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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  (401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk
  Replies (15) Good night (8652) Bad night (1164)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

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  (631): She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom. http://tfl.nu/uq6s
  Replies (22) Good night (6654) Bad night (1181)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine

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  (214): I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine http://tfl.nu/t8mm
  Replies (21) Good night (3573) Bad night (1788)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.

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  (516): Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs. http://tfl.nu/urlg
  Replies (10) Good night (627) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.

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  (203): ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus. http://tfl.nu/rgdm
  Replies (4) Good night (810) Bad night (400)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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  (224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e
  Replies (6) Good night (688) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night

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  (248): Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night http://tfl.nu/efb0
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (445)

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