1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had to cum in my sink.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
