just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
