My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish I only lived at night.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
