I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
