Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
