dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize