At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
