No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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