So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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