when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
