I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
