In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize