if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
