ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
