So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
