just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
