i would punch a child for taco bell
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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