I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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