I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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