why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
