You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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