ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
