we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
