I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
