it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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