Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
