i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
