I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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