I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
