my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
