What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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