oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
