What did we do last night that was yellow?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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