Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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