I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They took my balls.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
tell me about the eggs
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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