My room smells like vodka and shame
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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