Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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