i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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