my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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