we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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